Dear Dr. Gay Nerd

Smart Nerdy boys are hot, they get my juices going. They talk smart, look all cute and are totally always having good ideas for games, movies and most are wild in bed. Athletic Nerds are even better, their like finding the toy in the cheerios box. The problem is gay nerd are hard to find and when i do find them they don’t seem interested after they find out what my past is. I’m a bit of slut, I like sex a lot, I taught sex ed so I know a lot about it. I am open about discussing it with ppl around me, Ive tried a lot of stuff and my numbers are normally way higher than theirs. I also play 3 sports and as the last gay nerd I tried to date, his name was adorkable, and he was adorkable, said that though he likes me, I seem to like my teammates more cause I wouldnt miss practice and cuddle in the mornings and I came after a game a little sweaty to his Risk night.

Or their cranky cause most science stuff is beyond me, I study social sciences, I dont feel stupid but when I dont understand and ask for clarification, they look down on me.

People tell me that nerds are into athletes, while Im an athlete interested in nerds, where do i find them? How do I keep them? How do I approach them without feeling stupid and how do I get them to overlook my sluttiness? Im monogamous when I date someone, also how do you get a nerd to shower, theres this gay nerd that think is totally hot right now in the library, I know hes gay cause ive seen him in the past in library stacks, its a gay beat. But i also know he has a body odour issue, and I dont want to be that guy who says ill only date you if u shower, and get rid of your smegma issue.

Now im rambling so im gonna stop, but please help me find the nerd of my dreams

cheers
Athlete seeking Nerd Connection

So you want an Anthony Michael Hall of your very own?

Dear Athlete-

First off, I think that you need to stop objectifying gay nerds.  You’re treating us like pieces of meat and while I’m sure that you’ve been a victim of this yourself as a gay athlete, it’s not going to get you anywhere.  I doubt that you’re going to have much luck dating someone by walking up to someone you find attractive, telling them how hot you think gay nerds are, and then promptly trying to get in their pants.  This approach typically works fine for random hookups, but unless I’m mistaken, you’re in this for a bit more.

I’m assuming that you find it annoying when someone treats you like a dumb jock.  The same is true for gay nerds.  People think that just because I’m smart, I can fix their computers when honestly, I usually end up just breaking them more.  If you want to date a gay nerd, you’re going to need to approach him as in individual, find out what he’s interested in, and build a solid one-on-one relationship from there.  Find one that you want, ask him out for coffee or whatever, and just go slowly from there.  Pay him a sincere compliment (something like “I think you’re cute” or “You have a nice smile”) without laying it on too thick and you should be fine.

Now, the question that I have for you comes with just how open you are about your “slutty past.”  Being honest is one thing, but volunteering the information is something else entirely.  I’m completely open and honest about my past as well, but I don’t go telling people without being asked and even when I am, I still act discretionary.  My best guess is that, based on the reactions you seem to be getting when you tell people about how much of a slut you are, they feel a bit out of their league.  It may come across like you’re even bragging about your past liaisons.  I’d lay off of that a little bit.  Don’t volunteer these things until asked and even then, don’t go into the dirty details until you and your partner have a trusting relationship which can handle these details.

Calm down, be a little more respectful, and be gentle. You can find a nerd, but you have to approach them on their level, not yours.

Along with that trusting relationship, you’re also going to need to realize that any healthy partnership is going to feature a good amount of give-and-take.  You’ll need to make sacrifices to keep your boyfriend happy, just as he’ll be making some for you.  While it wasn’t right for your last one to expect you to skip practices and games, you’ll still need to make an effort to make special time for the two of you.  This doesn’t mean just sex.  Your last boyfriend complained that you never stuck around to cuddle, so if this is something your next boyfriend likes, you need to plan time for the two of you where you can make him happy.

Finally, you need to realize that sometimes you have to let things go.  I find it a little ironic that you’re complaining about the hot nerd in the library who has BO, yet you willingly admit that you showed up to Risk Night still sweaty from your game.  Double standards are dealbreakers and you can’t expect your partner to do something that you, yourself, aren’t good at.  I don’t know how bad this hot nerd’s odor is and I don’t know if you’re going to end up dating him or not, but you can’t walk up to him and tell him that you want to ask him out on the condition that he takes a shower.  It just doesn’t work that way.  And then you need to accept the fact that once you are dating him, if you really do like him, you’re going to have to give up a lot of the stuff that you’d like in the interest of keeping him happy.  If it’s a good relationship between the two of you, he’ll be doing the same right back for you.

Good luck and keep me posted-

Dr. Gay Nerd

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Tags: ask dr. gay nerd, athlete, body odor, communication, connection, cuddling, cute, dating, flirting, gay-nerds, lesbian nerds, love, nerd, respect, sex, sexy athlete, sexy nerd, slutty past