Some of you might be wondering about the lack of GOTI articles in recent months, and the truth is I haven’t had much time for computers and such ever since I learned my place and got back to where I really belong: the kitchen.
I thought the road from savvy webmistress to subservient sandwich artist would be a long and arduous one, but once I put that apron on, sandwich making just came naturally to me, unlike math and driving. Everything just started making sense, like why all the guys I beat at Halo were always asking me to make them sandwiches or bring them sandwiches or fetch them what I can only assume to be a beverage named GTFO. At the time, I thought they were taunting me, but now I see they were just trying to set me on the path to destiny.
Destiny.
These days I make sandwiches for all the men in my life, which, at this point, is mostly limited to my male cats. Boy, do they sure love tuna. Sadly, most of my more ambitious recipes have gone to waste on them. This all got me to thinking about how I and other women could use our God-given sandwich crafting abilities for charitable ends. Then I remembered those charming fellows I used to play Halo with. It broke my heart to think of them out there alone in the world without a sandwich to be had. I knew what I had to do.
Now I have three loves in my life—sandwiches, Oprah, and my non-profit organization, LunchBox, which is dedicated to bringing luncheon meats to all those sad men on Xbox Live. We’ve run into a few stumbling blocks with regards to our delivery methods, but I’ve no doubt in my mind that we’ll be ready to launch in early 2013. Unfortunately, my ovaries make it next to impossible for me to run a business and/or not spend all of my (husband’s) income on shoes, so it’s easy to understand why investors aren’t lining up. Still, it’s my mission to make BLTs for XBL, Panini for Playstation, and tea sandwiches for Wii. God Bless America.
Together just as God intended.
Gal’s Surefire BLT recipe
You’ll Need:
Bacon
Lettuce
Tomato
Bread
A Husband/Boyfriend
Directions:
-Put the bacon, lettuce, and tomato between two slices of bread.
-Give the sandwich to your husband/boyfriend
-Be grateful.
Talk about sandwiches right here in the forums.
Tags: April Fools, gal in the kitchen, Girl On the Internet, sandwiches for everyone (who is a man), women's rights smemmin's rights
